Doug Ford: Pave Lake Superior!

July 12, 2018 § Leave a comment

Dear Mr. Ford,

I often tell people that they aren’t full-fledged Canadians until they have traversed this great country over land (either on our great highways or by train presumably). I have done this a few times now, and though it is the only way to truly internalize the vastness of this country, it’s become painfully aware to me that one simple improvement would streamline this process, boost the economy and create jobs and tourism. Let’s face it: the most annoying thing about crossing Canada is going through Northern Ontario. Sure, there may be some good fishing up there, but you and I know that once is enough, twice is okay, but thrice is too many times to see millions of trees, a bunch of rocks and almost get yourself killed by moose. Sure, many people choose to cross this section via the USA, which is much faster and crosses some interesting country with some interesting folks, but not all of us are allowed to travel freely through the USA, and when people do so Canada is missing out on revenue from fuel, food and lodging sales.

My solution to how dreadful the drive through Northern Ontario is for Canadians is simple — Pave Lake Superior! Paving this big, stupid lake will not only create jobs in the short run, but would open up space for new cities and towns to emerge, as well as obviously drastically shortening the time and distance it takes to cross Canada. Lake Superior is just a big, dumb, flat lake with some stupid fish in it. If the environmentalists are concerned about the effect on fish, we can put a few holes in the concrete maybe to let some light in and so people can fish in them (like ice fishing). Having a big, flat, concrete plane where there is currently just a bunch of water could open up a new economic future for Ontario, as people the world round will come to engage in drag racing and marvel at the engineering brilliance. If you want, you could put your name on the slab that can only be seen from the air! Also, speaking of air, people could land planes on the slab and such, expanding the province’s airport system which in turn will be good for the economy.

Sure, I realize that Lake Superior has an international border slicing through the middle of it. I’m not encouraging you to get into an international incident with our neighbours. Simply pave the lake up to the border and leave the stupid water section for the yanks. I can’t guarantee that people like myself won’t walk up to the edge and cast lures off the edge in search of Walleye and Pike, but as long as my feet are on the Canadian side what can they do?

In conclusion, in order to expedite cross-Canada travel and trade and make the trip across Ontario far less dreadful, and for a bunch of other reasons (including things I haven’t thought of yet), I strongly suggest that you Pave Lake Superior!
Thanks for your time,


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