Doug Ford: Pave Lake Superior!

July 12, 2018 § Leave a comment

Dear Mr. Ford,

I often tell people that they aren’t full-fledged Canadians until they have traversed this great country over land (either on our great highways or by train presumably). I have done this a few times now, and though it is the only way to truly internalize the vastness of this country, it’s become painfully aware to me that one simple improvement would streamline this process, boost the economy and create jobs and tourism. Let’s face it: the most annoying thing about crossing Canada is going through Northern Ontario. Sure, there may be some good fishing up there, but you and I know that once is enough, twice is okay, but thrice is too many times to see millions of trees, a bunch of rocks and almost get yourself killed by moose. Sure, many people choose to cross this section via the USA, which is much faster and crosses some interesting country with some interesting folks, but not all of us are allowed to travel freely through the USA, and when people do so Canada is missing out on revenue from fuel, food and lodging sales.

My solution to how dreadful the drive through Northern Ontario is for Canadians is simple — Pave Lake Superior! Paving this big, stupid lake will not only create jobs in the short run, but would open up space for new cities and towns to emerge, as well as obviously drastically shortening the time and distance it takes to cross Canada. Lake Superior is just a big, dumb, flat lake with some stupid fish in it. If the environmentalists are concerned about the effect on fish, we can put a few holes in the concrete maybe to let some light in and so people can fish in them (like ice fishing). Having a big, flat, concrete plane where there is currently just a bunch of water could open up a new economic future for Ontario, as people the world round will come to engage in drag racing and marvel at the engineering brilliance. If you want, you could put your name on the slab that can only be seen from the air! Also, speaking of air, people could land planes on the slab and such, expanding the province’s airport system which in turn will be good for the economy.

Sure, I realize that Lake Superior has an international border slicing through the middle of it. I’m not encouraging you to get into an international incident with our neighbours. Simply pave the lake up to the border and leave the stupid water section for the yanks. I can’t guarantee that people like myself won’t walk up to the edge and cast lures off the edge in search of Walleye and Pike, but as long as my feet are on the Canadian side what can they do?

In conclusion, in order to expedite cross-Canada travel and trade and make the trip across Ontario far less dreadful, and for a bunch of other reasons (including things I haven’t thought of yet), I strongly suggest that you Pave Lake Superior!
Thanks for your time,

Having Trouble Locating the Water Fountain

January 27, 2017 § Leave a comment

Hello BC Ferries,
Not that I have any other option, I am currently waiting for a ferry from Victoria to Vancouver as a walk-on, and I am in Berth 1.  I am very thirsty and have been having troubles locating the water fountain.  Where is it?  Why is it not clearly marked?  I am so thirsty that I had to drink warm water from the automatic tap in the men’s washroom.  Is this related to the construction going on here?  I find it very odd that I have been provided with free electricity and wireless internet, yet I cannot find a water fountain.
Please respond, and also please act.  I’m sure that hundreds of people pass through this berth every day, and people need water.

Response to ‘Wake-up Call for the alt-right: a Beige Horizon is Inevitable’

January 2, 2017 § Leave a comment

Dear Mr. Lazarus:

CBC’s Office of the Ombudsman deals with complaints about CBC’s news and current affairs content. The Ombudsman has a mandate to determine whether information content the CBC has produced fully respects CBC’s journalism policy.
Entertainment programming is generally beyond the mandate and jurisdiction of this office.  However, I have forwarded your e-mail to Michelle Daly, Senior Director, Comedy, CBC Scripted Content, so that your concerns may be shared with the appropriate programmers.

Reply to ‘Fake News Reported Yesterday’

January 2, 2017 § Leave a comment

Dear Mr. Lazarus:

I write to acknowledge receipt of your email.  I have shared it with Jennifer McGuire, General Manager and Editor in Chief of CBC News, so that she will be aware of your concerns.


Esther Enkin

Letter to CBC – “Beige Horizon”

December 30, 2016 § Leave a comment

Wake-up Call for the alt-right: a Beige Horizon is Inevitable

The CBC “comedy” television show This Hour has 22 Minutes recently presented a music video both on TV and the internet ( by the above title. The video unabashedly calls for the extinction of all the world’s races and amalgamation into one “beige” race. It poses this future as inevitable and positive, claiming that “we’ll all look the same by the year 3000”. Would it be okay for CBC to produce a video chanting “white power, white power, white power” and calling for the extinction of other races? Is diversity not considered a value by the CBC? Everyone being the same is the opposite of diversity. This content is not presented as satire as well; they are serious.
I find this video to be hackneyed, unfunny and non-factual (the “rapper” claims that “we’ve been [genetically] mix ‘n’ matchin’ since the break of day”, which is factually inaccurate.
Please cancel ‘This Hour has 22 Minutes’ for advocating genocide and fire everyone involved in this segment.
Kindly inform me via email when the aforementioned people have been fired. Thanks.

[sent by online form]

Letter to CBC Ombudsman: Fake News Reported Yesterday

December 30, 2016 § Leave a comment

Fake News Reported Yesterday

I was driving through Manitoba yesterday and listened to the news on CBC Radio. The article in question was about the White House expelling Russian diplomats and imposing sanctions. The presenter referred to supposed Russian gov’t hacking that supposedly influenced the US election as though it’s a proven fact that this occurred when there is zero evidence to support this claim. At the very least the presenter should have included the qualifier “alleged” before the dubious claim in question. Reporting unsubstantiated rumours as though they are facts is misleading and wrong, and I’d like to expect better from the CBC.
Please inform me by email of what actions are taken on this matter.

[submitted by online form]

Tampa Airport – Nix the Pop Music

November 4, 2015 § Leave a comment

Hello.  I had to wait for several hours in the Tampa Airport today which means that I had to hear several hours of terrible corporate pop music wherever I went, even the washrooms and outside.  Air travel is stressful enough without having to withstand awful music for hours on end.  This has ruined my day and may even ruin my night and my day tomorrow, because pop music easily gets in my head and stays there.  There is absolutely no need for any music at the airport, and if you did play music I would assume that it would be relaxing instrumental music of some kind, not aggravating, obnoxious corporate garbage.  You can do better.